Yesterday was Gopal’s last day at work. It was a big, busy day for him. And, here at home, things were rolling along. Needless to say, there’s a lot of chaos here. When I went to the bedroom to try to create a suitcase-packing area, I kept bumping into a hanging decoration near my window. So, I gently pulled at it, trying to untack it from the ceiling. I didn’t want to break the string, but I had to pull a little harder to get it out. It popped out, and the tack must have hit my nose (glasses?). Wow, it hurt! My nose has a little scab on the bridge. I put ice on the bridge of my nose to stop the swelling. Sigh

Gopal is surprised how relieved he feels to be retired. He is really tired but enjoying his new freedom.

As you can imagine, leaving my daughter, son-in-law and grandchild is difficult. My daughter and I are weepy these days. She works at Bananas and just sent me a flier on keeping in touch when grandchildren are far away. It’s wonderful and imaginative.

The packing process has begun. Gopal and I are going to have to negotiate what we take with us. While he’s been making it through his final days at work, I have been packing decorative mobiles. To my dismay, they are taking up half the largest suitcase! : )

After realizing how frayed I have become, it occurred to me that yesterday was not only the first alone-at-home day I have had for a month (and which I need to recharge my batteries), but it was also maybe my last one for the rest of my *@#! * life!! So, after the shock of that realization, and the understanding that I am heading toward a world where spending a day alone is probably unheard of, I decided I need to take more naps, meditate more often, etc. Not being able to walk lately because of the smoke is also not helping my mental health.

Compensating for my frayed edges is already paying off. And my sister is arriving in the morning for the weekend. I can’t wait to spend one-on-one time with her.

Gopal's Retirement Party

Judy, Abbey, Lyn, Ellen and Jane at the party!

CCHP arranged a retirement party for Gopal on June 12th at Abbey and Jonathan's beautiful house in Berkeley. Many of his old colleagues from the CHP days and some of his bosses from UCSF came to attend. It was wonderful to see all of them in one place. Abbey, what a wonderful host you are! We will cherish this occasion for a long time!

On April 12th Dexter was baptized in a Catholic church in Alameda, making his Lola Victoria very happy. Afterwards, we had a party for him. It was wonderful to have the Nasols and Kelleys together to celebrate our little Guy being baptized and turning two years old.

At this point, we are planning to leave for India around the middle of July. Gopal has given his resignation/retirement notice, my first social-security benefit payment will arrive at the end of May, and we have applied for PIO (Person of Indian Origin) status. If nothing is complicated, we should receive our PIO cards by the end of May. The change in departure was due to Gopal’s decision to stay at his job as Fiscal Manager until the end of their fiscal year, June 30th. Although not firm, it looks as though we will stay at Adhyatma Sadhna Kendra in Delhi for a month or two upon our arrival. Sadhna Kendra is a Jain Ashram Gopal managed before he came to the U.S. It is my understanding that the ashram now functions in collaboration with a large teaching hospital in Delhi, focusing on cardiac, diabetic and asthma issues and rehabilitation. For me , it will be good to have a friendly place to live, where meals are served, meditation and yoga available, as well as healing workshops. I believe it will be affordable. And I think it may be nice for Gopal to revisit friends. Do you have any idea how hot and wet it is in July there?!
My son, Mike, has now been dead for 1.3 years. Much easier now. We still haven’t figured out what to do with his ashes or how to memorialize him here.
My daughter, Suzie, and her husband, Ramon, are in the process of buying their first house in Oakland and are expecting to move in June. This morning, I met them at the new house for an inspection. I am now babysitting Dexter, who is just 2 years old, while Suzie works 3 days a week. I rode herd on him for a while during the inspection, then took him home for the rest of the day. He was tender-spirited all day, but we had a nice day.
Taking care of Dexter is very wonderful. It makes me so happy and also reminds me of my age. I don’t feel it when I’m with him, but I am more tired generally and am participating less in my peer activities. I am really glad they found a house now so I can help Dexter transition to the new house before I leave.
I’m reading “Culture Shock! India” for the second time (just got the 2006 edition). My mindset at this point is not being excited about this huge move. I am very aware of how hard it will be for quite a while as we adjust. Gopal is feeling the same way. I really hope it works well for us eventually.
I’m just recovering from a respiratory flu that got tangled up in my usually pretty dormant asthma and am realizing that I am on too many prescription drugs with too many toxic side effects. I am looking forward to the possibility of transitioning from Western medicine to ayerveda as much as possible. Not knowing where we’ll settle is a complication. Maybe Sadhna Kendra will be a first step.

We have done more homework in retirement fruitions, etc., and have decided to retire after our 64th birthdays in one year. Technically, we are looking at retiring around April 1st, 2008, but we'll see how it all ends up. It'll be interesting since we need to clean out the house, which is FULL to the rafters with stuff (lots of books). Also, because once we retire onto our Social Security, our income will be very low for the Bay Area, California, so we'll probably have to leave for India pretty quickly. We dream about buying/renting an RV and traveling around the U.S. for a while before we leave, but it is hard to imagine being able to do that, particularly financially. I also feel that the longer we postpone moving to India, it may never happen since we're getting older and older. Something may happen to prevent us from leaving.

We had a meeting this month with Social Security the last day of my bereavement disability leave and learned that our benefit will be higher than we thought. What a nice surprise.

My son, Mike, has been dead for 3.5 months now. Our grandson is 11.5 months old. Here's another picture of Dexter.

Tragedy

Well, when we move to India, we will not be leaving my son, Mike, behind. Mike died December 14th of a drug overdose. We know that his death freed his physical life from a force he was helpless against, but fought so hard to overcome. But, as his mother, I am still working through how even that is OK. We miss him so terribly. I am working at accepting that he is really dead. At the moment, I am trying to be consoled that his spirit will always be present. But, I even struggle with that. I'll put a picture of him in the blog. My baby.

Monday, November 27, 2006
My doctor will prescribe Zantac to relieve the heartburn. Another medicine! My blood sugar was at 200 this morning after not taking the medication yesterday and not walking for 4 days. Terrible. For some reason, probably the holidays, I'm eating more again. Not good. Will work toward getting the ayervedic medicines her as soon as possible.