Volunteering at The Clinic for the Poor

Today is the three-year anniversary of my son Mike's death. And today was my first day volunteering at The Clinic for the Poor sponsored and run by the University Women's Association.

The waiting room which must have been a church.

Reception where I worked with Parvathi and Geeta.

Volunteer doctors Sheila Chandran, my landlady, and

Aalum JothRoom where patients are seen.

Room where bandages are changed, etc.

Drugs are dispensed by volunteers in this room also.

Patients waiting for drugs.

This is Raj, the President of the University Women's Assn., I believe.

It was a nice experience here today, and I look forward to going back on Wednesday.

Third Anniversary of Mike's Death

Since I forgot to take a picture of us leaving the house on our memorial journey to honor the third anniversary of Mike's death at the temple on top of the hill, I snapped a shot of him at the foot of the road we live on as it merges with the big road. Please note the red mud where the hillside on the right came down during the storm.
Then I forgot to get a shot of the area outside Sim's Park, a local landmark, enroute to the temple. So this is looking back at the square near our house.

Then I forgot to get a shot of us turning off the big road onto this tea plantation road. This shot is looking back at it. sigh

A small Saravanamalai entrance temple by the road.

This walkway leads from the little temple up the hill. It is a shortcut to the larger Savanamalai temple we were going to on top of the hill. We decided to try it, even though I loathe taking these paths up. They are very steep and difficult.

View from the top of that trail. (By this time I was very irritated, and we were lost.)

We came to some beautiful homes, hoping to ask a servant how to get to the temple.

A gentleman here sent us back along the trail and then up where the houses ended.

Here's a shot of the hilltop we were seeking and a strained Gopal. (I am not fun when I'm mad.) Shortly after this picture, I slipped and fell on the road and practically landed on a small snake. Scared the hell out of me.

After an hour and a half, we gave up trying to find the temple. I was unwilling to go through the forest where there was no path. So we stopped here and did puja for Mike.

It started to drizzle.

It was very beautiful. The rain dripping from the leaves didn't show up in the photo.Gopal performed the puja.

This is looking back at the spot under the fallen tree.

Back at the entrance temple, we lit incense and camphor.

The road back home.

Flowering tree and volunteering

This is what we look at out the back. There's a little flowering tree with purple morning glories climbing around the top. So pretty.

Charity sale put on by the Little Sisters of the Poor Home for the Elderly which is located next door to the Sagayamatha Hospital where I see my doctor. Gopal and I have been meaning to take a look at the elderly home there. (The Christmas candles and other crafts for sale are all made by the elderly in their home.)

Gopal talking with Sister Odile(?)

We will visit the home for the elderly and are interested in volunteering there

In India, families take care of their elderly parents, so it seems to me that people in an elderly home are either from such destitute families that they can't afford to care for them or they have been abandoned.

Tomorrow I will begin volunteering at a clinic for the poor where my landlady is a volunteer doctor. I'll do a post here about that clinic.

Views from our new apt.

With the cameras we have, these are the best photos I could get of the view from our new home. But it doesn't show you how beautiful it is. On this picture, I'd like you to note the higher hill on the left.

This is a closer look at that hill on the left. Can you see a little bit of white on the top to the left? That's a small temple. That's the one we climed up to last month.

Here's a closer view. We're going up there early the morning of the 14th to honor the third anniversary of Mike's death.

Thoughts on being bi-cultural

Religion
All of a sudden I’m wanting Christmas decorations in my Hindu home. I have not been a practicing Christian for most of my adult life. Although I don’t consider myself a religious person, here in India being associated with one religion or another is sort of a must. There are more Christians here than in my experience in other places in India. Gopal is extremely well-educated and experienced as a Hindu holy man, so I am perfectly comfortable being Hindu, particularly since Hinduism includes Buddhism under its large, inclusive umbrella. So decorating for Christmas is probably hard to understand here. At first I thought of getting ornaments to hang on the shrubbery in the yard, but we ended up buying a tiny fake tree, 12 tiny ornaments, and two paper/plastic stars to put over hanging lights. I miss the holidays and spending them with my family much more this year.

Appearance
It started immediately, in Delhi, trying to fit in, I think. I was so different, it felt good to do everything possible to fit in in other ways. I wore Indian clothes, bought and wore gold jewelry, and wore a bindi and tika powder on my forehead. I let my hair grow long and tied it back in a bun like all the older women. Now it’s long enough to braid, so I’m experimenting with that. I honestly don’t want to cut my hair and call more attention to myself. That’s a joke really, though. I stick out like a sore thumb wherever I go.

Clothing
The way I dress these days is sort of schizophrenic. When I was living in Boys Company, a village, I always wore either a salwar kameez or a saree. Since I moved to Brooklands and now to Bedford, I wear a salwar when I’m dressing up; otherwise I wear jeans or sweatpants! That has been partly because of the storm and the muddy roads, etc. The last two days I’ve been wearing a long black skirt over leggings with a short salwar top. Now that it’s cold, I always wear a shawl as a scarf around my neck. I’ll undoubtedly wear salwar kameez again here more when it gets warmer.

Grandparenting
I have children with whom I’m close here in India, yet don’t have much of a relationship any more with my only grandchild, Dexter, a heartbreaking reality. I’ve learned not to get attached to expectations. You never know what the future holds. Perhaps Dexter and I will be great friends one day. Maybe not.

Relationship with Gopal
Before I left for India, I was working at a labor union in Oakland. Two of the reps were Indian women. When one of them learned I was going to live in India with my Indian husband, she warned me that often these men turn into “Indian men.” Not Gopal, surely! I guess in that respect, Gopal and I are both a little schizophrenic. He is becoming more demanding and controlling; I am becoming less commanding and more acquiescent. My area is now the housekeeping, for example, which I accept readily. I am happy to report, however, that I am still bossy and controlling even so. And Gopal wants to make me happy, so things always work out, ya know? But, I am totally glad to allow him to be the guy in this culture. To tell you the truth, because I don’t know the language, etc., it is nice not to take any of that responsibility. Gopal gets stuck with everything pretty much.

Our move to the Bedford neighborhood of Coonoor

Moving again was discouraging, and we only had one apartment to choose from, sooo........There are two bedrooms, each with full bath. This is the bathroom off our bedroom.

Bedroom

Living room end of the large room including the dining room

Dining room, where things are still stacked up since the storage is minimal and one of the storage cabinets isn't cleaned out yet by the landlord

Kitchen, with good storage space and two windows!

Office/spare bedroom

"Sun room," my favorite room in the house

This is the view down at the minimal yard and driveway. I tried to take a picture of the hills you can see from the Sun Room, but it rained all day and we are in the clouds then. I'll post the views when the sun shines through. It's really gorgeous.

This apartment is slowly growing on us.